I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
