You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
