My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
