Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
