It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he puts the penis in happiness.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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