finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
