It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
