I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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