Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
