I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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