Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
