tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
