I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
