I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
