It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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