hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just pee around me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
