i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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