i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
