i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
