my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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