I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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