we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
