So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize