Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize