think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
