So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
