Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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