she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
