Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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