People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
