It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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