Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
