This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
