I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
