me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
