if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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