Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
