did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
