So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
