thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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