enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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