Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
