Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
All the doctor said was why
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
