do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
