Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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