i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
