ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
