is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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