I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
