Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
