similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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