The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
