you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
