i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
