id be glad to
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
