carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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