you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
