1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had to cum in my sink.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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