so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
