Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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