Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
